There are so many things I don’t like about the new Monopoly “Boutique Edition” that to list them all would be…tedious, to say the least. But I’m going to ask a few questions, starting with:
Who the f*ck are the girls playing this board game supposed to play Monopoly with?
When I was growing up, there were four people who regularly played Monopoly with me. My dad, my brother, and my two (male) cousins. We would have marathon games. When we were visiting my cousins, games would literally last all day. If I’d been playing a “just for you, girl!” edition of the game, I would have had nobody to play Monopoly with.
Monopoly isn’t an easy game, mostly because it takes so freaking long. Everything about the game takes forever. Convincing someone to play, carving out hours to get through the game – even setting it up is a chore.
The only thing I cared about? That I got to be either the dog or the dude riding the horse. Which makes me wonder – what are the “funky tokens” that come included with this for-girls version of the game? Lipsticks? Handbags? Tampons? Diaphragms?
Has the old boot become a Manolo?
Why do girls need to be condescended to like this, HasBro? You think we aren’t interested in games about money? We are very interested in games, and we are very interested in money, maybe because we still make less of it than the boys do for doing the same job. In my experience, we’re also interested in playing games with people of all genders, because games are fun and people are fun and playing games with people is fun.
I might not find this as aggravating as I do were it not for the fact that the box explicitly states this edition is “just” for girls. Some people like pink and some of the people who like pink are indeed female. But some of them are male. And some of them aren’t binary-gendered individuals. If it’s so important to have a set that’s just for girls, why not a blue set for boys? What about a purple set for “other”? And if they’re taking it that far, why not monopoly sets based on family heritage or socio-economic status? Monopoly for Immigrants? Monopoly for Poors?
If HasBro wants to add a pink edition of Monopoly to the game’s already-bulging portfolio of properties, fine, have at it. I think it’s stupid, but it’s your company, bub. But why exclude boys who like pink, or trans kids who like pink? Why draw a box around the box and mark the territory “girls only”, as if the other versions of the game weren’t appropriate for our delicate sensibilities? Does HasBro disapprove of inter-gender mingling? Do they feel like this pinkified version of Monopoly will encourage more girls to go to Wall Street?
Is there market research showing that girls won’t play normal-colored Monopoly? That they won’t play Monopoly with boys? Is there really that much of a demand for $30 board-games in specific shades?
Or are they just trying to grab another few bucks from Mom and Dad’s wallet?
I know which one I think it is. Which is pretty sad, but maybe expected for a game that has the point of owning everything and driving your opponent into bankruptcy.
A game, might I add, that was invented by a woman.
Also of Interest:
- #Signalboost #ForScience Awesome new Lego set announced! (AKA, Lego Serves Hasbro)
Edit: my friend and I came up with rules for Pinko Monopoly after he read this. That was a laugh.