Tag Archives: leather skirt diet

Weekend of Epic, Part 1: Bagels, Lox, Braised Short Ribs, Gelato, Italian Ice & More

So. This time last week, I was sleeping. Why was I sleeping? Because I’d been up till 9:30am getting ready for the reading I was hosting at the Cornelia Street Cafe, for my book, Hot Mess. You can read all about that experience here, if you missed it last Friday morning. Suffice to say, fun was had, it was a late night, and everything was awesome. Sare had to leave early on Friday morning, so unfortunately wasn’t able to take part in the rest of the weekend’s festivities – but it was still great to have had her for as long as we did!

Shortly after writing that post, my parents,  who were still in town, took me and Miranda to an absolutely gorgeous breakfast at Barney Greengrass, which is one of the few places where even I will devour a bagel with cream cheese and lox. It was incredible. Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

From there, we got a lift back down to Midtown, where we met up with Eric and Erin at the Disney store. I haven’t been in a Disney store in q-u-i-t-e a while, and I have to say, it freaked me out a little bit. Brought back all sorts of memories of the time my parents took us to Disney World when I was in first grade.

We didn’t stay there long, as Eric and Erin were done shopping and we wanted to show Miranda the famous Naked Cowboy of Times Square. That accomplished, the four of us tromped over to Bryant Park and sat and chatted and generally had a relaxing hour or so just hanging out in the park.

Eric and Erin headed off pretty soon then, and me and Miranda wandered over to the big library on Fifth and 40th/42nd. As it happened, they were having an exhibit on Percy Shelley. It said free. We went in. As we walked into the huge old building, admiring the architecture, we saw a sign: free professional calligraphic inscription with the purchase of any of the journals on sale in the gift shop.

So much for free. Part of the conversation in Bryant Park was about art supplies, journals and pens (this is what writers get excited about, you know?), so we made a beeline, picked out journals, and got inscriptions.

Then we headed downtown, where we were going to meet with my parents for dinner at Lotus of Siam…sadly, Lotus looked to be under construction.

Market Table was not under construction. We went to Market Table instead. Totally different kind of cuisine, but, as always – completely delish. I had some kind of braised short rib thing with horseradish crust (not spicy at all); my dad had lamb, mom had salmon and Miranda got garlic soup. I’ve only been to Market Table twice, now, but absolutely everything there is consistently amazing. As is the service. Highly recommended.

After Market Table we went on a mini ice-cream tour. It involved goat’s milk ice cream with goat’s milk caramel, for the lactose-intolerant among us, as well as Gelato, and then an Italian ice. Then me and Miranda took my parents back to their parking garage. And then we went and got cupcakes.

The leather skirt diet was clearly over.

Coming next week:
Weekend of Epic, Part 2(A): Babeland, Fast Cars, Fast Tattoos & Not-So-Fast Burgers

The Leather Skirt Diet

What’s the Leather Skirt Diet, you ask? It’s the diet that consists of “whatever will make me fit into the leather skirt” I’m wearing for a thing next week.

When I first ordered the leather skirt, I knew I was taking a chance. Getting it off the internet, no clear size guides giving waist measurements. But it fit. Not only did it fit, but the price-per-wear is already, like, a dollar. Because I have not stopped wearing it since it got here.

This has brought a new aspect to the Leather Skirt Diet: whereas the initial plan was, “run was hard as I can on the elliptical every day until the event,” all of a sudden I got scared. Because if there’s one thing that’s worse than a black miniskirt that’s too small, it’s a miniskirt that’s too big. This goes double when the fabric is leather.

A loose leather miniskirt is, how shall I put this, pointless.

So a few days ago, the leather skirt diet changed a bit. Now it was about maintaining. I mean, yeah, there are a few pounds that can go (and in case anyone’s worried, I put back on the weight I lost while sick and then some) and that’s safe, but at least I don’t have to be worried about the skirt not fitting. This was good timing, because it was around the same time the skirt showed up that I got a package of goodies from my mom.

In other words: MILLIONS OF COOKIES.

So far I’m enjoying the whoopie pies, and will bring the other cookies to work tomorrow. Because love them though I might, as we get into the home stretch before the event Thursday night, they may have to fall off the list of “Leather Skirt Diet” food options.

We shall see.

While out with my friend yesterday we joked about writing different kinds of novelty diet books. I’d write “The Leather Skirt Diet,” then she’d write the “Artichoke Dip Diet” (or whatever it was – if she sees this, maybe she’ll correct me in the comments), and then sooner or later (as many of our conversations do) we had devolved to a level of ridiculousness the likes of which I shall not inflict upon my dear readers. Suffice to say by the end of it we were laughing hysterically and a fully-fleshed-out idea for a series of e-books where we would pick goals and write diet books about them, but the diet books would be actual reflections of what we were eating, rather than aspirational “plans” that might or might not work.

Other than that, my weekend involved glorious weather in Manhattan, chilling on the Hudson, and getting a seriously amazing foot massage for like twenty bucks from a place where they thought I had fallen asleep *so they let me keep lying in the chair* till I opened my eyes. My feet feel so relaxed now.

What’s everybody else been up to this weekend?